Neice and Two Daughters

Over the weekend we were in Massachusetts for Pat’s 50th high school reunion. While out East we went to visit our niece who has two little girls and our nephew who has two small boys. In both cases I discovered that my talent for playing with small children was still there. Actually a few weeks ago, visiting a family friends’ granddaughters, in Western Wisconsin, I rediscovered how I can be a silly Uncle Bob.

Before that encounter it had been a long time since I had a chance to see if I still had the ‘touch’ with young children, especially with ones who really did not know me. Over the years with my grandchildren, with children in Latin America and around the USA and world I met I always had a natural ability to play with young children.

These last three times I was more reflective of why I could relate so well to young children. I discovered almost seventeen years ago with my first grandson that children like to repeat the same things over and over again. One of his first words was ‘more’. I would make up a silly story and he would laugh and say ‘more’. At first I thought he wanted another story but that was not it. ‘More’ for him meant to repeat the same silly story not another one. Young children do not get tired or bored with something that is fun and makes them laugh. ‘More’ means repetition.

Another natural technique is to relate two unrelated things to each other. We were waiting for dinner the other evening when I said how hungry I was. Immediately one of the young boy started sounding like a bear and showing me his teeth. I acted like I was scared on a hungry bear and asked that the food be ready soon before he ate me.

Young children like gestures that make no sense. With my grandchildren I started padding the side of my head with my hand whenever I saw them. They started to greet me in the same way. When I was in Guatemala I saw some young children sitting on the Cathedral steps on Palm Sunday. I hit the side of my head with my hand when I caught their eye and they returned the gesture. I have tried the same gesture with children all over the world with most times getting a return of the same gesture. Pat says they are just imitating me and she is probably right. But I like to think it is a universal sign of children and young at heart.

When I took some teenagers on a youth mission trip to Appalachia, the topic came up of what we would like to be when we grew up. While youth said some sensible things, like a police officer or an engineer, I said I would like to be like a “three year old” when I grew up. I was already an old youth minister.

When I would meet a three year old child I would say how old are you? They would say ‘three’ and I would say that I am ‘free’. Children at three years of age have a hard time distinguishing between ‘three’ and ‘free’. Often they will smile and shake their head ‘no’ since I could not be ‘free’ if they were ‘three’. Of course parents would get it and think how silly I was. I guess I was being silly but when you are ‘three’ you are ‘free’.

Young children, especially before they go to school, have great imaginations and can find joy in the smallest of things. They are looking for happiness and have not learned all the categories, names, limits and expectations that education and environment places on them. There is a universal language of joy with children and children at heart that spans ages, is the same for boys and girls, young and old, black or white, poor or rich. Now I know why Jesus said that “unless you become like one of these little children you cannot enter the Kingdom of God.” He was not joking. Talking to adults he might had to explain what he meant. But for children they knew naturally what he said since they were the ‘young children.’ I can be three and free.

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