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I got a concerning email today. It was from a person “in power” who ignored past correspondence and wanted me to rush things to her now which she already got. Trying to be forgiving I wrote a long letter of response, giving her what she requested, but also reminding her she had been given it a long time ago. I was being forgiving but not forgetting. After completing the email letter tonight I decided not to send it till tomorrow when I can look at it in a fresh light and perhaps take some of the non- forgetting out of it.

I had a close family member say to me once that she could forgive another family member for what the person had done but she would not ‘forget’ it. It made some sense at the time but now I think about it real forgiveness might take some forgetting. I know one cannot erase a memory but one can keep from mentioning it and therefore, at least publicly, forget about it.

I know this forgiving and forgetting takes some sucking it up and pain, things I am not very good at. However tomorrow, before I send it out, I may give it a try.

Last night’s Gandhi quote about learning the Art of Dying is still being mulled around in my mind. As I mentioned before I have felt like I am dying for a few years now and now that I have some illness it only increases the feeling of death. Maybe this is God’s way of telling me I need to practice the Art of Dying and since I am a slow learner God is blessing me with this feeling of death and sickness, the second long term one since last August.

Last time I was sick and I finally went to the doctor the illness went away. Maybe I should try this again. As for walking in the shadow of death it does have some benefits, one being it gives me practice in the art of dying.

This opportunity to forgive and forget is maybe just what I need

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