Workers DMZ One 05/31/08

Today my friend Dawn, asked me to go to meeting with her and Marna, all co-founders of the DMZ community gardens. I had not be involved with the DMZ gardens the last year or two and in the meanwhile Dawn and Marna had started a second site, called DMZ two. With the aid of a neighbor DMZ Two got a small grant from the city which was used to hire Growing Power to make a nice garden area on this lot leased by the city to Dawn. Now this neighbor who is not a gardener but a self acclaimed event organizer wants to take over DMZ Garden Two.

From the beginning of the meeting it was clear that this new person was very aggressive and negative toward the three of us and Growing Power. He was it and wanted complete control of the garden and would not listen to anyone’s ideas or comprise on the future of the garden. DMZ II was not so much a community garden for him but a platform, a way to promote his political and public relationships activities.

We never talked about compost or worms but only of the great thing he had done for the community. He did most of the talking and was very hostile to Marna and myself. At first I made the mistake of trying to reason with him and get to the point of our discussion, the future of DMZ Two. But as I learned before there was no way to dialog with people like this. Being somewhat aggressive myself I got into the trap of arguing with him. Soon I realized my mistake, got quiet like Dawn and Marna and let him go on and on glorifying himself. After two hours I tried to say something and he interrupted the meeting, started to leave and try to pick a fight with me.

Dawn, Marna and I do not need this kind of aggressiveness in our lives. We have so many other good and positive things to do with our lives. I was not involved in DMZ Two and I think Dawn will just walk away.

Thinking about the meeting tonight I think I encountered a real life bully. Fighting, even verbally, with a bully is useless. It is just best to walk away. Bullies spit out poison and the antidote is kindness and respect, not bullying back.

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