Non-Violence is a quality not of
the body but of the soul, M.K. Gandhi,
Mahatma Vol. 2, p. 43 The last day of June and it is still not very hot. But it is warm and sunny and that is good enough. The warm and sunny weather was great for our St. Vincent De Paul conference picnic on the back deck of our house overlooking the garden.
After talking with a few friends tonight over the kitchen table we got into a discussion, with Pat joining us, about sexual abuse scandal on the eve of Milwaukee Archdiocese. We also talked extensively about our own and loved ones battles with mental illnesses, or brain disorder. My goal is to have mental illnesses recognize as illness just cancer or a heart condition but I have little hope to see that day soon. Persons with mental illnesses, unlike homosexuals, cannot organize, protest and struggle for civil rights. Change only happens, like we witnessed in the last 20 years in the gay community with organizing and nonviolent actions.
I received from India today an interesting quote from Gandhi that might give us a hint of how nonviolent chance works. He says: “Non-violence is a quality not of the body but of the soul.” It is the change of heart where real change starts. All we can do for change is create an environment where it is easy to be good and discover the true power of nonviolence in our soul. Once we do this, we, working together, have the power to change the world.
We were discussing tonight how we can “End ROTC” or military training in war and killing at Marquette at our rally and trial on July 15th. All we can do is to invite all those who talked and worked so hard to rally, march and expose at the trial the truth of Marquette teaching war and killing. Perhaps we can create an environment where more people can experience the quality of non-violence in their soul.
Front Vegetable GardenI have been so busy doing in the garden and in life that I had a little time for being with the garden and with life, the being that makes garden and life fully alive. A friend recently told me how when son was engaged in a fire fight in Iraq he felt fully alive and present to the moment, an experience lacking in everyday life. I think I know what his son was talking about for often, in a crisis, I feel fully alive and alert, in the present moment. The trick of life is to be fully engaged in doing and, without a fire fight or crisis, be fully aware and into the present moment.
I, like many others, am still a novice of how to being fully alive in the present while doing. I know it takes some practice and discipline but the reward is great. Gardening gives one an opportunity to take a peek into what is happening in the present while doing.
To the side and below are pictures from the gardens today. Looking closely and you will see plants growing and plants dying, the cycle of life. Being and doing are one in the beauty of the garden and life.
(more pictures below)
Guantanamo Bay, Fighting evil
with evil? The recent passage of the immigration reform bill by the US Senate is a good example of how an evil means just brings more evil and the end does not justify the means. When I asked friends involved with immigration reform about the bill they said they did not like provisions in the bill but it was the lesser of two evils or a ‘compromise. When I asked about the “border surge” in the bill, 40 billion dollars for militarizing the border with fences, drones, private prison, border guards, more military weapons they had a similar response. Some called the militarization border proposal a “pact with the devil.” (See article in Mother Jones: Immigration Reform: Good News for Contractors.
There is a principle in Catholic Social Teaching that is called “principle of double effect” which,“under certain clearly defined conditions, permits us to perform an act that has both a good and an evil effect, but there is no allowance whatsoever in the Catholic system for directly choosing an evil.”
Also once you support an evil means for a good end, in this case a water downed ‘pathway to citizenship’ for 40 billion to militarize the border, you simply invite more evil. In fact, as soon as the Senate bill passed the speaker of the House of Representative announced the House would not even consider the Senate bill but come up with their own with harder or no path way to citizenship and more military security on the border. There is no compromise with evil.
Rim Restored As some of you know I have been (nonviolently) fighting recently on three battle fronts, restoring the rims at a County Park; urging the Catholic church to use the one million dollars resulting from closing and sale of Catholic Churches in North Central Milwaukee for corporal works of mercy for segregated, poor and marginalized in this area; preventing Marquette from teaching war and killing on campus. The most concrete and specific issue was restoring all four rimes at the County Park so young African American adults and others can play full court basketball.
Last Friday the last of the rims was put back in place. I waited till today to announce this victory. A young adult in the area had suggested we expose this segregation for what it is and I think this was the turning point.
Now that I am back home, rested from a few days of school and reflection, I am ready for the challenge of the other two fights.
My Aggressive Scapegoat defense on struggle with Marquette to stop teaching war suffered a little setback tonight when I found out key witnesses could not attend the trial. However, I think we can work around this and hopefully expose Marquette for its teaching of reflexive killing, killing without conscience at the upcoming rally and trial on July 15th.
The Catholic Church ignoring the poor with use of million dollars is another struggle. We used research, facts, moral persuasion and even a parable, Thy Kingdom Come…on Earth as it is in Heaven and the Catholic Archdiocese still stonewalls us. If I could only communicate the plight of the poor to the Pope, our Holy Father, we might be able to move the local Catholic Church. If we can get a rim resurrected maybe we can get the attention of the Pope.
“Dirty Wars” - Saturday, June 22, 2013
All four rims on backboard at Doyne Park resurrected for basketball. Time for a Time Out
Tonight Pat, Jerry, our house guest, and I went to see “Dirty Wars”. dThe movie is about an investigative reporter, Jeremy Scahill from Milwaukee, uncovering a secret army being directed by White House into the heart of America’s covert wars, from Afghanistan to Yemen, Somalia and beyond.
It takes bits and pieces of what we know about these covert wars in over 40 countries that are leading us into endless wars and puts the picture together. He graphically portrays on the film how convert US Army is creating more and more terrorist and wars each day.
My reaction after seeing such a devastating film like this is to just move on, to the next story, the next talk or film. My response is to let the film sink in my bones and in some small way throw a small wrench in the military machine that can destroy us all.
This movie motivates me more to expose the Department of Defense military training that Marquette host for the five county metro areas. The type of senseless killing, killing without conscience is what Marquette teaches. How do we expose this military madness being taught in Departments of Army, Navy/Marines and Air Force? The war we seen on the screen starts here at home and it feeds on our silence and fear.
July 15, 2013, the date of the aggressive scapegoat defense at my trial with Marquette University will also be ROTC Recognition Day at Marquette. In the Marquette Security guard report to the police the thousands of people who have protested ROTC on campus since 1969 are called “unapproved ant-war protestors.” Marquette needs to face and recognize its role in the “Dirty Wars”.
“There is nothing I can do.” “I do not want to hear about it.” “That is just your opinion.” “Lighten up.” “You talk too much.” “You have mental health issues.” “You are arrogant.” These are a few of the phrases I hear in the “What is wrong with Bob” litany. There is some truth to all of these accusations and admonishments but none of them define who I am or want to be.
Jesus said: “Go sell what you have and come follow me” to the rich young man. He said to his disciples “Be perfect like God, my father, and I are perfect.” “Give up everything and come follow me.” I believe Jesus meant all these things but Jesus did not mean for us to do nothing if we could not be perfect. It is not all or nothing.
Perfection, like Truth, is a struggle, something to experiment with, make mistakes and keep on seeking. It means trying, not being silent in case you might offend someone.
When people say “dialog” these days they do not mean real open discussion with creative conflict, but more “your opinion, my opinion.” When people say “compromise” these days they do not mean two parties coming together to a position they can both in conscience accept but usually choosing the lesser of two evils?
I do not know much about the new Immigration bill in the Senate these days endorsed by President. When I asked my friends who follow such things closely as immigrant rights activist they say they do not like the 13 year wait period for the “road to citizenship” or the complete militarization of the border with drones and thousands and thousands of private and public security. However, they are quick to add “there is a road to citizenship” and it is the best we can get. People surrender, the struggle is over and now we all need to work together to push this flawed bill through congress.
My thought is the more we accept something we believe evil and unjust the more we will get. Dialog and compromise does Not mean surrender and accepting the lesser of two evils.
Now that is all my opinion and you have a right to your own opinion and every one can do their own thing as long as they do not directly hurt someone, physically and there is blood that I see.
Our new pope,Francis, a Jesuit is looking good in terms of his commitment to the poor and marginalized. However I had a ‘wait and see’ attitude about him till he spoke about war. At a Mass to honor the Italian soldiers who were killed in peacekeeping missions, particularly in Afghanistan, he gave a powerful homily about war. I tried to find the whole homily, as he gave it, but could not, not even on the Vatican web site. So here is the article a friend in Europe sent me.
Pope Francis: War is the Suicide of Humanity
2 June 2013 / Vatican Radio
“War is the suicide of humanity because it kills the heart and kills love,” Pope Francis said in his homily at Mass this morning [2 June 2013] at the Casa Santa Marta. In attendance at the Mass was a group of about 80 people, consisting of relatives of Italian soldiers killed in peacekeeping missions in the last 4–5 years, particularly in Afghanistan, along with a number of soldiers wounded during the same missions.
June 2nd is “Republic Day” in Italy, which commemorates the foundation of the Italian republic in 1946. Archbishop Vincenzo Pelvi, the head of the Military Ordinary in Italy, who con-celebrated Mass with the Holy Father, said it is a “significant day” in which the country expresses “a debt of love for military families.”
“Today we have come to pray for our dead, for our wounded, for the victims of the madness that is war! It is the suicide of humanity, because it kills the heart, it kills precisely that which is the message of the Lord: it kills love! Because war comes from hatred, from envy, from desire for power, and – we’ve seen it many times - it comes from that hunger for more power.”
So many times, the Pope noted, we’ve seen “the great ones of the earth want to solve” local problems, economic problems, economic crises “with a war.”
“Why? Because, for them, money is more important than people! And war is just that: it is an act of faith in money, in idols, in idols of hatred, in the idol that leads to killing one’s brother, which leads to killing love. It reminds me of the words of God our Father to Cain, who, out of envy, had killed his brother: ‘Cain, where is your brother?’ Today we can hear this voice: it is God our Father who weeps, crying for this madness of ours, who asks all of us, ‘Where is your brother?’ Who says to the powerful of the earth, ‘Where is your brother? What have you done!’”
From this exhortation, Pope Francis went on to pray to the Lord, that He might “take all evil far away from us,” repeating this prayer “even with tears, with the tears of the heart”:
“‘Turn to us, o Lord, and have mercy on us, because we are sad, we are distressed. See our misery, and our pain and forgive all sins,’ because behind a war there are always sins: there is the sin of idolatry, the sin of exploiting men on the altar of power, sacrificing them. ‘Turn to us, o Lord, and have mercy, because we are sad and distressed. See our misery and our pain.’ We are confident that the Lord will hear us and will do anything to give us the spirit of consolation. So be it.”
For many years I used to joke that I got along with children, teens, young adults and the elderly but it was the rest in between that I had a problem with. Now that I am 70 I find myself with more friends my age, in general 60–80. I still get along with young children but do not have much contact with teens and young adults but I think I am okay with them. Also my friends seem to range from working persons to low income and often have health issues, less wealthy and healthy. All this leads to 30 −60 age group middle class and up that I have a problem with at times.
It is the generation after the baby boomers whatever that is labeled. I would call it the ‘relative’ generation where everything goes as long as you do not hurt someone and there are only personal opinions not “opinions of truth.” Everything is relative and the common good is not as pressing an issue as the individual good.
I heard a couple of good speakers today. My friend from India, Prasad, gave a talk at Cardinal Stricth University where he said what is good for us is part of the common good. After an elderly moral theologian gave a talk at lunch today he told us that when the Jews were called out of Egypty they were called to be a sharing persons. He also talked about an important book Journey to the Common Good by Walter Brueggemann. According to a description the author “calls us to journey together to the common good through neighborliness, covenanting, and reconstruction.”
Today the House of Representatives with a Republican majority voted for a new State Budget for the next two years that has drastic cuts for education, health care for low income, transit and in many areas that affect the “common good.” Yet the budget calls for 650 million of tax cuts for upper middle class and wealth persons. I joked with a low income friend that the Governor is taking money from him to give to me. But it is no joke. If you took the age of these representatives you probably would find that, like our Governor, they are between 30 and 60 years old.
What can we young, old, marginalized and ill do about it? It is probably not much but if we join together and work together with some in this group who understand the importance of ‘common good’ we can overcome. But those in power keep us divided and working against each other, being on the defense never on offensive.
There is a comprehensive Immigration Bill pending in US Senate. I do not know much about the bill yet but know there is truly hurtful to common good and some would say ‘evil’ things in the bill like militarizing the border with drones and hundreds of thousands security keep the immigrant. Friends admit that there is some really bad provisions in the bill but urge me and others to support it. My response is that I understand compromise and know it is necessary. However, when we vote for the ‘lesser of two evils’ we lose more and more ground in our struggle for common good. I do not think the “end justifies the means” and voting for bill to militarize our border, just like voting for war spending because some good thing is added to it, is wrong.
The Common God is losing group to the individualism of our times. However, the Common Good will outlive this era self and the relativity of everything and rise again.
Franklin Roosevelt, I believe, said, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” I heard another quote from an upcoming movie about fear not being real. All this may be true but sadly we all live in fear and politicians control us often with fear, fear of terrorism or communism, fear of nuclear war, fear of crime and violence. The answer to these fears, drones to combat terrorism, more nuclear bombs, or more guns to thwart crime often creates more fear and more of what we fear.
I am afraid of having ‘dementia’ like my dad who died of Alzheimer. I did not fear it too much until recently, because of change of medicine or more tension became more and more forgetful with short term memory less. It might not be anything but now I want to get tested.
When I was young, reading the Gospel, I wondered why Jesus often said: “Be Not Afraid”. Now I sense why. Fear of lost often drives us.
When I first met Michael Cullen, the local founder of the Catholic Worker house of hospitality, Casa Maria, he seemed fearless. When food, supplies and money were low at the house, Mike would often say not to worry, God will provide. I did worry but the next day someone who comes by with food or money donation and we survived.
Today I heard our St. Vincent De Paul conference is low on money and the President says we should not offer vouchers on beds, stoves and refrigerators the basic needs of many families. We have an abundance of money in our parish and we are guardians of a million dollars plus that was given to us with closing of and sale of three parishes in the poorest and most segregated part of the city.
We also have the ability to beg, something many throughout history in the church many holy people did, especially to share with the poor. But begging takes some overcoming fear.
“Be not afraid” can go a long to overcoming fear.
Today I filed a ‘discovery motion’ for my upcoming trial for trespassing at Marquette University. The police report confirmed my belief that I was a scapegoat so Marquette did not haveto face the message: Marquette University, Be Faithful to the Gospel, and No Longer Host Departments of Military Science. The police report calls us “unapproved ant-war protestors.” Perhaps 1967 or 1968, when I was a graduate student and a Jesuit seminarian at Marquette, I attended an “anti-war” protest against the Vietnam War. But Marquette officials and we all know that ‘protest’, prayer vigils and other nonviolent action we have taken in the last seven years have been anti ROTC and military training that teaches values contrary to Gospel values. One of our banners makes our message clear: “MU Teaches Killing” with a note where to find ROTC training in the student manual of courses.
The practice of using a scapegoat to ignore your own sins (See Marquette Sins) is an old one. But what gets me so mad is how I fell for it all these years, reacting against false accusation and misrepresentations just made me look like there was truth to them. As I have stated many a time there is always some truth to a stigma but some truth does not make it true. (See Stigma Stains the Soul).
I had a business partner once who also said the “best defense is an offensive.” By reacting to his offensive moves on our partnership cost me dearly in legal costs. But I must admit there is some truth to this tactic. It works not only in war but in nonviolence. In nonviolence we are taught not to react but to act nonviolent with love and good will.
The Aggressive Scapegoat Defense, in this legal case, involves taking the attack and turning it around to expose what Marquette is doing teaching reflexive killing, killing without conscience. With the help of friends, other so called “unapproved ant-war protestors” we can absorb the scapegoat of others yet aggressively turn it around and expose the violence of an institution that has military training on campus that violates its values. It will take the help of many to take the Aggressive Scapegoat Defense.
Jerry Zawada, a Franciscan,
washed the feet of Natividad Cano,
and is kissing them, during the
‘migrant trail’ walk in Tuscon.Turning the earth of the garden today I was reminded how life turns and turns. Like a seed planted we often feel like dying but if we are planted on good ground, like a seed, we rise and grow.
Jerry Zawada OFM is living with us upstairs when he is in town. Although Jerry is only five years older than me he is truly my elder, a wise person whose stories and life experience just flow naturally from him. He is a lot like Lorenzo Rosebaugh OMI, his best friend and my friend from 1968 till his death in Guatemala a few years ago. They are both holy and humble persons that we feel privileged to know. They both have been arrested and put in prison numerous times and find their blessings living in solidarity with the poor and suppressed.
They both move slow but get around and are deeply grounded in the Spirit. They both are priest who live the Gospel and like St. Francis, preach with their actions. Jerry, like Lorenzo, has a great sense of humor which is important when you are praised or put down. I know I am not a saintly person as they are but like the saints they point the way to live the Gospel and Word of God.
In gardening and farming there is what is called companion planting, where planting of different crops in proximity in the garden is done for pest control, pollination, and to otherwise increase crop productivity. It is like the marigold flowers planted around my raised garden bed in the front yard to keep out insects and animals or planting the basil, tomato and pepper plants together, all needed lots of nitrogen rich soil, sun and water.
Like companion planting, people around us in our environment, affects us. Good People make good companions and help us grow in mind, body and spirit. Jerry says the best education he ever had in life was in prison and his wish in life is to return to Tucson where he worked with immigrants who had crossed the border… Lorenzo worked with the poor on the streets and rural area of Brazil and Guatemala and El Salvador. From the people on the bottom, the earth person, in dying they rose to be the person they are.
Jesus says: “Blessed are you who are Poor for Yours is the Kingdom of God.” (Luke 6:20) I say blessed are you Jerry and Lorenzo for you show us the way to the Kingdom of God.
In one month I will be in municipal court for my trial of trespassing on the property of Marquette University two weeks after I was told I was “not welcome” on the property. Legally I have been told I have a good case since I was arrested on a public sidewalk after the Marquette Security officer turned me away from the Library where I was going to do research on Dorothy Day co-founder of the Catholic Worker movement]]. But Marquette University officials, I and my companions know this is not about trespassing but an attempt for Marquette by scapegoating me to avoid hearing the message Marquette Teaches War and Killing. Since 1969 various groups of students, alumni, staff, Christians have been asking Marquette to be Faithful to Gospel and not host Department of Defense officer training programs (ROTC) on campus for all colleges and universities in the five county Greater Milwaukee Metro area.
Over the years Marquette has had students suspended, people arrested, events censored from media and, most of all ignored the fact that they teach military values over religious values and killing without conscience. Father Ignacio Ellacuria, Jesuit martyr in El Salvador to in 1985 when asked about ROTC, military training on Jesuit campuses like Georgetown said: ‘Tell the Jesuits of Georgetown that they are committing mortal sin because they are supporting the forces of death which are killing our people.’ He was assassinated in 1989.” (Father John Dear S.J. in National Catholic Reporter Online article — Jan. 8, 2008)]].
Marquette University and the Jesuits that believe that by piling on their sins on a scapegoat and exiling him they can avoid looking at their own sins. If people do not rally to my defense and rush to the resistance to teaching war on Catholic Campuses Marquette will win this battle but in the war I believe the struggle for truth and justice will win.
Marquette sin of teaching war and killing is hidden. This trial will be one small but vital chance to expose to the public eye the sin of Marquette.
old orchard with new bloomsTonight we, my wife and two friends watched Iron Man 2, a movie we had taped off the TV. Three of us had watched Iron Man 1, also taped, and had found the action filled film keep us awake on a Friday night after a fish fry. Tonight the film left my head spinning. It was too fast and too much action as one of the viewers said. Another viewer tonight, despite the nonstop action, fell asleep and two of us watched it through. My interest in Iron Man 3, when it hits the TV screen, just dropped.
Sadly I can see why the movie series is a bit hit. It is nonstop action and violence without a drop of blood, even with the bad guys. In a world of killing without conscience and Killer Drones we can easily be desensitized to such violence with bloodshed but deep down in our mind and soul we are injured and hurt.
In last night’s posting I talked about how we are all one people, all brothers and sisters. If this is the natural order and we are all connected than the death of one affects us all. Although Iron Man is a comic book type of movie it is presented with real people behind the technology and killing. Even with the most significant killing robot or machine there is a human behind it. If we humans have the technology to create something we will use it.
Before the dropping of the atom bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki who ever thought humans would use such a destructive weapon on so many humans. At the bombing of these two cities the morality of the “just war theory” was done. Now our country is building new bomb making factors in three cities for the first time in over 30 years. Some people protest these nuclear bomb sites and get arrested. Most Americans just ignored these new bomb factories or justify them with fear of Communist of old or terrorist of today.
In the midst of this darkness and destruction the light of hope rises in the East. It is a faint light at times but at sunrise with the sun it rises. We can see it in the smile of a child or in the beauty of the rain garden. We can feel it with a handshake, hug or kiss. We can hear it in the whisper of a gentle breeze. music or in a laugh. We can taste it a good meal and smell it clear air. The light and hope is in our mind and soul and if we can block out the Iron Mans of the world and TV news. A friend and eye were watching national TV news earlier this eve and our involvement in the war on Syrian people took a backseat to news of a fire and kids going to a prom in an area damaged by a storm.
Despite the horrors of violence around us we can keep hope alive if we can see, hear, touch, smell and taste the beauty of nature and life all around. Let those who have ears to hear and eyes to see rejoice and be glad.
World Peace Gong wihtflags from around the world
at site of Ghandi last Tonight we had a dinner for some friends and after dinner we asked our friend from India to make some comments about “What Gandhi would do if he was going to trial for trespassing at Marquette University?” He did not talk about that particular question but gave us insights into Gandhi and his thinking. He mentioned how Gandhi treated all people, despite race and ethnicity as brothers and sisters.
Prasad was driven here by three women. Two woman, one named May and one named Moon came in the house with Prasad. They were definitely Asian looking but not Indian. Later in the evening May and another woman name Dianna came to pick up Prasad and take him back to Racine.
As were talking around the kitchen table he turns out May was Hmong and Dianna was Mexican. Moon, who was with May earlier, was from an ethnic group inside of Burma that is severely persecuted by Burmese people.
However, the racial diversity was not the major story. The major story was that May, Dianna and Prasad did not know each other until last night. Last night Prasad was at a meeting when he casually mentioned that he needs a ride to Milwaukee today. Dianna was at the same meeting and met Prasad. May had called Dianna about helping Moon getting her cutting through the Division of Motor Vehicles to get her driving license. Dianna could not help May and Moon on work time but decided to take the day off of work to help them. She had never met May and Moon before the day and decided that since she had to call Prasad and see if he still needed a ride to Milwaukee. So today Prasad from India, Dianna of Mexican heritage, May, a Hmong and Moon from a Burmese ethnic group got together, ran their errands, dropped Prasad off at my house for dinner and latter Dianna and May came back for a bite to eat and to pick up Prasad and take him back to India. By the time they left my other friends had gone and Jerry went upstairs to his bedroom and my wife to hers. The two women and Prasad realizing how four of us had met by chance started to take pictures of each other and me. I was going to get one of my cameras out but there was too much people posing for pictures for my taste.
Around the table tonight the four of us, all from different countries, India, Mexico, Hmong, and American, were laughing and joking as we were old friends yet we had all four met each other with the last 24 hours. Gandhi was right; we are all brother and sisters of the world and when we treat each other that way we can live in peace and joy. We are four nationalities but one people.
Four friends, three priest
and one lay guy. What a day full of people called to direct action for peace and justice like myself. This morning I picked up my friend Prasad from India who is the government direct of Gandhi studies for his province. He was our leader in the Pilgrimage of Peace. After we ran some errands and got back here Janice, our woman priest friend came by. She had gone out to the Jesuit retirement home to visit a 92 year old Jesuit priest friend only to find he had been admitted to the hospital last night. We came home and Franciscan friend, an elder, came here from his travels for peace and justice actions to stay for awhile. Latter in the day, after dropping off Prasad for his ride to where he is staying we went to the hospital to visit our Jesuit friend. The four of us are in the picture on the left.
We were talking in the car and here why our elder Franciscan friend was looking so much better after his return from Tuscan community that is working with immigrants. His thoughts were that when he was in Tucson he was with like persons concerned about similar issues as he is and doing something about them. We all concluded that when we are doing something right in our minds and conscience there is a certain amount of peace and happiness. I remember feeling this way about the Milwaukee 14 in 1968 even thought we were facing unknown time in prison. Doing what comes naturally to us seems to a source of peace and happiness. Like persons naturally attract like friends.
This morning we noticed that our Gandhi friend from India could doze off and than being fully awake and aware in the conversation. This is something I have noticed before about Prasad. Jerry asked if this was because he was so at peace, he could sleep and wake and sleep again naturally. I said I thought so.
The four of us in this picture had one experience in common, a natural struggle for human rights even when it means marginalization and prison. Wow I am so blessed to have a day with such friends.
I do not feel quite ready for a posting but do feel obliged to explain to the few people who care what is happening with me why there have been no postings recently.
I have talked recently in these postings about the sense of death that has been with me since a month or so after my son, Peter’s, death. I have been open about it and have talked about the blessings of living in the shadow of death, like the calming, considering what is really important impact. Three or four weeks ago I was talking with my therapist about it and also how my sleeping medicine at night was not working so well. At my next visit to my psychiatrist she told me it was not the sleeping medicine at night but my antidepressant that I took in the morning causing the problem. She quoted my therapist note about my sense of death. She wanted me to try a new anti-depressant. After talking with many people recently to accept mental illnesses and try new medication I said I would try it. She gave me some samples from the drug manufacture and told me how to phase out the old and bring in the new one in a 10 day period.
I did and starting to feel more and more uptight, agitated, talking too much and my mind was speeding. After 10 days I was really feeling that way and wanted to stop taking the new medication. However, my wife, in her wisdom, mentioned that sometimes after changing medication things need to settle down and to give it one week. I did and by the end of the week we both agreed the medicine was making my feel and act hyper, a stigma I have lived with for many years. My psychiatrist is out of town so I stopped taking the new medication and slowly reintroduced the old one. The new medication did take away my “sense of death” but I did not want to lose it. If I am going to be “next to normal” I rather live in the shadow of death than speeding on this new medication.
One advantage of being hyper is that you see more closely the connection between people and events. When I come down all the way I hope I can remember these observations and can explain them. So that is it. My sense of death was drugged and is slowly returning.
NSA whistleblower Edward
Snowden: ‘I don’t want to live
in a society that does these sort
of things’ See video I am not ready to resume this posting, hopefully tomorrow. Tonight I bring you a story from “the guardian” an English newspaper on Edward Snowden: the whistleblower behind the NSA surveillance revelations.
The spelling in this posting below is not a mistake but just the way words are spelled in England. I was glad to see someone take the words of Jesus to the rich young man “To go sell all you have and come follow me. Check out the video on this —
Edward Snowden never wanted to be in the spotlight. But his life will now be pored over and debated by a public curious to know the background – and motivations – of one of the explosive whistleblowers in modern US history.
So far, little has emerged about Snowden that has not already been supplied voluntarily by him.
When he identified himself as source of leaks to the Guardian on Sunday, Snowden spoke openly about his upbringing, education and work for the CIA and He was also candid about his reasons for coming forward. “My sole motive is to inform the public as to that which is done in their name and that which is done against them,” he said. “I can’t in good conscience allow the US government to destroy privacy, internet freedom and basic liberties for people around the world with this massive surveillance machine they’re secretly building.”
The 29-year-old, who will turn 30 next week, said he was “willing to sacrifice” a stable and successful life in order to leak the top-secret documents he feels shed light on the expansion of government surveillance.
His future is anyone’s guess. He reportedly checked out of the Hong Kong hotel he was staying in at 12.30pm on Monday. A media pack has already descended on Hong Kong, desperate to track him down. In the longer term, Snowdon has said he plans to seek sanctuary, possibly in Iceland. New details about his past – the Edward Snowden before he was made famous – are hard to come by.
Unsurprisingly, given he was a passionate believer in privacy with knowledge of internet security, Snowden left little trace online. A full 24 hours after he came out of the shadows, there were only the barest details about his family. There were no interviews with high school associates, no new photographs, and no status updates from his Facebook or Twitter accounts, if indeed Snowden had any.
Snowden was born on 21 June 1983, raised in Wilmington, North Carolina, and later moved to Ellicott City, Maryland. His mother, Elizabeth Snowden, 52, still lives in the modest condominium the family once shared. She is known locally as Wendy and works as a chief deputy clerk in the federal courthouse in nearby Baltimore. CNN showed pictures of her outside her home on Monday, but she did not talk to waiting reporters.
The whistleblower’s father, Lonnie Snowden, 52 – reportedly a former US coast guard officer who has since remarried and now lives in Pennsylvania – told ABC News he was still digesting the news but was concerned for his son.
The concern cuts both ways; in his interview with the Guardian, Edward Snowden said he was most worried about how his family would be treated. “The only thing I fear is the harmful effects on my family, who I won’t be able to help any more,” he said. “That’s what keeps me up at night.”
Public records offered some clues about Snowden’s background. Campaign finance data indicated Snowden made two donations, each worth $250, to the campaign of Ron Paul, the staunch libertarian Republican.
It chimes with a picture that emerged of a man with strong political views; although Snowden said he believed in Obama’s promises in 2008, he said he voted for a third party.
Other parts of Snowden’s account – such as his claim to have tried to join elite special forces – were confirmed by official sources.
“His records indicate he enlisted in the army reserve as a special forces recruit (18X) on 7 May 2004 but was discharged 28 September 2004,” said the US army’s chief civilian spokesman, George Wright. “He did not complete any training or receive any awards.”
Some details emerged on Monday about Snowden’s girlfriend, with whom he shared, in his words, a “a very comfortable life” in Hawaii, until his disappearance less than three weeks ago. The TV show Inside Edition identified her as member of an acrobatic troupe based in Hawaii.
For the public, Snowden’s relationship with her may turn out to be one of the more intriguing questions about his backstory. It is not known how long they were together or how they met.
The couple lived in a house blue house with a neat lawn in Eleu Street in Waipahu. Snowden said he was earning around $200,000. “We occasionally saw him as he was coming or going, or checking mail, or getting the garbage,” a neighbour, Carolyn Tijing, told local station KITV. Others described Snowden as private.
They appear to have moved out of the property on 1 May. Century 21 real estate agent Kerri Jo Heim told the Associated Press the owner of the house wanted the couple out so that the home could be sold.
Snowden’s girlfriend may have realised this was anything but an ordinary disappearance around the middle of last week, when she received her first visit from NSA officials, accompanied by police.
That inquiry may have been a matter of routine; protocol would have required the NSA to investigate any unexpected absence by a contracted employee working on top-secret security matters. It is not known whether at that stage Snowden had been identified as a possible suspect involved in leaking classified information.
Other members of Snowden’s family were also contacted by the NSA last
week. Snowden’s father told CNN that she had returned to the US
mainland to be with her family.
When he left Hawaii, Snowden told his girlfriend that he had to be away for a
few weeks, though he was deliberately vague about the reason. “That is not an uncommon occurrence for someone who has spent the last decade working in the intelligence world,” Snowden told the Guardian.
By then, he must have known that he knew he was never going back.
Tonight’s posting is a repeat of Friday night’s posting except this one has been edited by the Director of Modification of Nonviolentcow.org . Last night there was no posting. There are good reasons for all this and tomorrow night I hope to be ba back on track with explanations and new observations.
Repeat, Repeat from Friday.
My mind, what with the Archdiocese ignoring the plight of the poor even though having a million dollars at its disposal and, the discrimination against young African Americans at a local country park, has been thinking a lot about discrimination recently.
A few years after we revived the anti-ROTC [military officer training on campus] movement at Marquette University in 2006, Marquette decided to create a Peace Center and hired a Jesuit peace activist to head the Center. I was extremely happy since the Jesuit, Fr. Simon Harak, is a LebaneseMelkite Jesuit trained peace activist like I am.
Before the Peace Center opened, I invited Simon for lunch at my house and cooked for him a Lebanese meal, including stuffed Grape Leaves. We got along well and I gave him some information about the local peace action scene in Milwaukee which he was grateful for. As he was leaving, I told him about our recent activities resurrecting the anti-ROTC movement which had been kept alive by some Catholic Workers here in Milwaukee. It had its modern start in 1969, inspired by the Milwaukee 14 action and by the strong resistance of ROTC on Catholic campuses by Dorothy Day, co-founder of the Catholic Worker. He told me that this was one resistance movement he could not participate in since it was a condition of his hiring not to participate. However, he wished us well and I told him, honestly, that I would keep on trying to get him involved.
Over his years as the Director of the Center for Peacemaking we had our disagreements but also respected each other and had many conversations. He is an excellent speaker on peace issues and brought in at the Center a number of inspiring peace activist. Our last real conversation was last spring when he invited me over for lunch at the Peace Center. He honestly said he had called the meeting since the new President of Marquette University, after meeting with Don Timmerman, Catholic Worker leader of anti ROTC movement and myself asked the Jesuit community at Marquette and asked the Jesuits what they thought of ROTC on campus. Naturally ever one looked at Father Harak, the Director of the Center for Peacemaking for advice.
He told us he had decided to bring up the question of the existence of military training, ROTC, on Catholic campus to the Strategic Planning Committee that was formulating a plan for the future of Marquette. I was pleased but skeptical to hear that he was acknowledging the question, which I knew deep in his heart he knew the answer, in this university wide project.
This year when I attempted to contact him for a continuation of our discussion I was told he was on a “leave of absence” for health reasons. No one would say what the health reasons were but I was happy to see him one day last March entering the building which contained the Peace Center.I was attempting to go in for a book study on Jim Forest’s new book on Dorothy Day, the co-founder of the Catholic Workers. We exchanged pleasantries and asked that we continue the discussion upstairs in the Peace Center. The assistant director of the Center, now the Director, was at the door with Marquette Security guards blocking my entrance and told him that he could go in but, pointing to me, that I could not go in. He told Father Harak he would explain later the reason why I could not attend the book study that I had been invited to. The assistant director had told me a few days before the book study gathering that I would be banned from entering. I was. Father went in and I went home.
About a month later, while praying with others in the lobby of the Marquette University lobby I received from security a letter that I was being banned from campus for “disruptive behavior on campus”. I was not told what the “disruptive behavior” was and why I was the only person to receive the ban. A week later I attempted to go in the library to continue my research in the Catholic Worker archives. I was told by security I could not enter the library and if I did not leave I would be arrested for trespassing. Not wanting to get arrested for something like going into a library to do research I left.
However, a short time later on the public sidewalk I was arrested for trespassing by the Milwaukee police department. The police were just acting on orders from Marquette officials so I wrote the MU officials, especially the vice president and legal counsel of Marquette to explain why, after 50 years of association with the Jesuits and Jesuit education I was banned. I asked for a review of my banning. They have given four basketball players accused of rape a hearing a few years before and I thought this minor alleged charge certainly deserved a hearing. But I was denied twice a hearing and have a trial on my arrest coming up July 15th.
Yesterday, I received a phone call from the legal counsel of Marquette offering me a ‘deal’ that I could not, in conscience, accept. But he did explain why I was banned. He told me of three incident reports of how I allegedly engaged in disrupting the operations at Marquette. Two of the alleged disruptions occurred a few years back when I was one of a group of persons protesting ROTC at Marquette. He said the ROTC protest had nothing to do with it; that it was my alleged behavior. The third incident was last winter when I met Father Harak and was blocked from entering the building by the assistant director of the Center for Peace Making. I tried to discuss the allegations but he claimed they had nothing to do with my arrest for trespassing, since anyone or any group had the legal right, for any reason whatsoever, to have someone arrested for gong on private property, once they were given a banning order. I will need the support of the community and some legal advice to put Marquette on trial for trespassing on Gospel values and human rights, for teaching war and killing without conscience on this Jesuit Catholic Campus.
Back to Father Harak. Last week I met a close associate of his whom I have known for a few years. This person told me that Father Harak had been ordered by his Jesuit superiors to live in a Jesuit retirement or semi-retirement home in the New England province. The person told me how when Father Harak wrote back he expressed a feeling of being in exile or banned from Marquette and his work at the peace center. His illness, it turns out, was not a major one and this person believed, as I do, that he still had a lot to offer the nonviolent peace movement. I cannot compare myself to Father Harak; but, I know how it feels to be marginalized and banned. We are both Lebanese Melkite Jesuit trained peace activists, virtually and physically banned from our work at Marquette University.
Father Simon Harak S.J. My mind, what with the Archdiocese ignoring the plight of the poor even though having a million dollars at its disposal and, the discrimination against young African Americans at a local country park, has been thinking a lot about discrimination recently.
A few years after we revived the anti-ROTC [military officer training on campus] movement at Marquette University in 2006, Marquette decided to create a Peace Center and hired a Jesuit peace activist to head the Center. I was extremely happy since the Jesuit, Fr. Simon Harak, is a LebaneseMelkite Jesuit trained peace activist like I am.
Before the Peace Center opened, I invited Simon for lunch at my house and cooked for him a Lebanese meal, including stuffed Grape Leaves. We got along well and I gave him some information about the local peace action scene in Milwaukee which he was grateful for. As he was leaving, I told him about our recent activities resurrecting the anti-ROTC movement which had been kept alive by some Catholic Workers here in Milwaukee. It had its modern start in 1969, inspired by theMilwaukee 14 action and by the strong resistance of ROTC on Catholic campuses by Dorothy Day, co-founder of the Catholic Worker. He told me that this was one resistance movement he could not participate in since it was a condition of his hiring not to participate. However, he wished us well and I told him, honestly, that I would keep on trying to get him involved.
Over his years as the Director of the Center for Peacemaking we had our disagreements but also respected each other and had many conversations. He is an excellent speaker on peace issues and brought in at the Center a number of inspiring peace activist. Our last real conversation was last spring when he invited me over for lunch at the Peace Center. He honestly said he had called the meeting since the new President of Marquette University, after meeting with Don Timmerman, Catholic Worker leader of anti ROTC movement and myself asked the Jesuit community at Marquette and asked the Jesuits what they thought of ROTC on campus. Naturally ever one looked at Father Harak, the Director of the Center for Peacemaking for advice.
He told us he had decided to bring up the question of the existence of military training, ROTC, on Catholic campus to the Strategic Planning Committee that was formulating a plan for the future of Marquette. I was pleased but skeptical to hear that he was acknowledging the question, which I knew deep in his heart he knew the answer, in this university wide project.
This year when I attempted to contact him for a continuation of our discussion I was told he was on a “leave of absence” for health reasons. No one would say what the health reasons were but I was happy to see him one day last March entering the building which contained the Peace Center.I was attempting to go in for a book study on Jim Forest’s new book on Dorothy Day, the co-founder of the Catholic Workers. We exchanged pleasantries and asked that we continue the discussion upstairs in the Peace Center. The assistant director of the Center, now the Director, was at the door with Marquette Security guards blocking my entrance and told him that he could go in but, pointing to me, that I could not go in. He told Father Harak he would explain later the reason why I could not attend the book study that I had been invited to. The assistant director had told me a few days before the book study gathering that I would be banned from entering. I was. Father went in and I went home.
About a month later, while praying with others in the lobby of the Marquette University lobby I received from security a letter that I was being banned from campus for “disruptive behavior on campus”. I was not told what the “disruptive behavior” was and why I was the only person to receive the ban. A week later I attempted to go in the library to continue my research in the Catholic Worker archives. I was told by security I could not enter the library and if I did not leave I would be arrested for trespassing. Not wanting to get arrested for something like going into a library to do research I left.
However, a short time later on the public sidewalk I was arrested for trespassing by the Milwaukee police department. The police were just acting on orders from Marquette officials so I wrote the MU officials, especially the vice president and legal counsel of Marquette to explain why, after 50 years of association with the Jesuits and Jesuit education I was banned. I asked for a review of my banning. They have given four basketball players accused of rape a hearing a few years before and I thought this minor alleged charge certainly deserved a hearing. But I was denied twice a hearing and have a trial on my arrest coming up July 15th.
Yesterday, I received a phone call from the legal counsel of Marquette offering me a ‘deal’ that I could not, in conscience, accept. But he did explain why I was banned. He told me of three incident reports of how I allegedly engaged in disrupting the operations at Marquette. Two of the alleged disruptions occurred a few years back when I was one of a group of persons protesting ROTC at Marquette. He said the ROTC protest had nothing to do with it; that it was my alleged behavior. The third incident was last winter when I met Father Harak and was blocked from entering the building by the assistant director of the Center for Peace Making. I tried to discuss the allegations but he claimed they had nothing to do with my arrest for trespassing, since anyone or any group had the legal right, for any reason whatsoever, to have someone arrested for gong on private property, once they were given a banning order. I will need the support of the community and some legal advice to put Marquette on trial for trespassing on Gospel values and human rights, for teaching war and killing without conscience on this Jesuit Catholic Campus.
Back to Father Harak. Last week I met a close associate of his whom I have known for a few years. This person told me that Father Harak had been ordered by his Jesuit superiors to live in a Jesuit retirement or semi-retirement home in the New England province. The person told me how when Father Harak wrote back he expressed a feeling of being in exile or banned from Marquette and his work at the peace center. His illness, it turns out, was not a major one and this person believed, as I do, that he still had a lot to offer the nonviolent peace movement. I cannot compare myself to Father Harak; but, I know how it feels to be marginalized and banned. We are both Lebanese Melkite Jesuit trained peace activists, virtually and physically banned from our work at Marquette University.
In last night’s posting I wrote about how I feel “alive at night, full of wonder and gratitude”. Well today, now yesterday, I was tested.
My young brother suffered a heart attack.
The lawyer for Marquette University that is seeking my conviction for trespassing called me today and accused me of false allegations and told me how I would be convicted at my trial July 15, 2013. He offered a ‘deal’ that in conscience I cannot accept.
The basketball rims at Doyne Park remained down.
My friends son, desperately sick, cannot get help since his illness is a brain disorder, or what some called a mental illness. He even acted out in front of one of the hospital his parents attempted to get him in and they still would not help him.
A friend came over and my wife and I got in a discussion with her about our desperate attempt to get help from our son who eventually, after being rejected by a long time agency, committed suicide. These are painful memories.
My friend Anne who suffers from severe pain called today to say how she needs to move out of the place where she came when she could no longer live on her own.
My veteran friend came over and told me how he still cannot get help from the Federal government although he served eleven years in the military.
I did not get to finish writing the essay on the Catholic Churches use of money meant for the poor.
The Milwaukee Brewers baseball team lost again.
I can go on but just like to say this early morning, the next day, I still feel gratitude tonight, although I will probably will not tomorrow morning.
All I can say is that gratitude was on trial and won.
Light and Dark at Sunset
Kauai, Hawaii I spent most of my Diary of the Worm time tonight working on a letter/essays about the Cry of the Poor request. So I will keep my daily observation short and sweet.
You hear stories about people waking up in the morning alive and thanking God for the new day. When I wake up I am drowsy, usually with a headache and need a cup of coffee or two before I am really awake. However, while many people go to bed dreary and tired I feel alive at night, full of wonder and gratitude. I look back at the day and marvel at all my wonderful experiences and feel God’s blessings and grace deeply. I guess I am, as my son Peter used to call, a night person, coming alive in the darkness of the night while many people are day time people waking up rested and ready to go.
But I must admit that on sunny days I feel much better, like in the night, than I do on dreary and cloudy days. I guess I must be a person who enjoys the darkness of the night and the light of a sunny day. It is those in between times, dreary days or nights full of artificial bright lights that get me down. Give me light or give me dark but not in between.
The world is spinning around and around!
I have tried for years to be involved deeply in few issues rather than generally in many. But sometimes an issue of what I used to call ‘justice and peace’, is thrust on you and what are you going to do, especially if it involves a ‘friend.’
I really believe that if we deeply explore any experience, person or event we will discover endless lessons of life that uncover many truths. For example the more I looked at the how the Catholic Church has treated African Americans in Milwaukee the more I learn and the more I want to know. If I explore a particular issue deeply all the others seem to be revealed in new light and make more sense. Closing and selling Catholic Churches in African American neighborhoods is a continuation of the “Separate but Equal” or “Separate but Unequal” policy on segregation the Catholic Church, along with other institutions, has been using in Milwaukee for years.
The other example is the military using education to recruit and train military personal. It has been gong on for a long time and in recent years has just intensified, with education without the military is become harder and hard for middle an low income folks. The president of USA recently announced more, not a lot, money for brain research. This sounds great until one looks deeper and finds out much of the money will go to military. In the power point presentation Nonviolence of Neuroscience which shows how the military already understands brains of young adults and appeals to the underdeveloped part of the brain in young adults in recruiting.
Sometimes things just come up and are forced upon one like the renewal of the Resurrect the Rim campaign for Doyne Park.
How to deal with more and more issues and concerns coming at you? The only way so far is to keep focused on the present, prioritize battles and time, do what you can and leave the rest to God or another time. Go to center and go deeply to find the quiet eye in the whirlwind of life.
“My Soul refuses to be satisfied
as long as it is a helpless witness
of a single wrong or a single
misery.” M.H. Gandhi Mind of
Mahatama Gandhi, p17 One of the nice things, if there is any, of being ridiculed and marginalized, is that you can find out who your real friends are, quite easily.
I am reminded these days of a quote from Dom Hélder Pessoa Câmara the deceased Roman Catholic Archbishop of Olinda and Recife, Brazil. He said: “When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why they are poor, they call me a communist.”
Today when people serve in food pantries or meal programs they are called good servants of God. However, when the same person calls for providing stoves and refrigerators so the poor so they can prepare and cook their own food they are ignored or marginalized.
In our efforts to Resurrect the Rims at Doyne Park for basketball playing for young adult African American males, or to eliminate the teaching of War and Killing at a Catholic University or to use the million dollars plus taken from the sale and closing of Catholic Churches in North Central Milwaukee to be used to create a sustainable fund for works of mercy in North Central Milwaukee we are insulted, called names like ‘arrogant’ or ‘racist’ or worst yet, ignored.
I am no Archbishop Camara, Dorothy Day, Jesus or St. Ignatius of Loyola that can take insults, injury and character assassinations and look at them as a blessing. It looks to me I can take the hurt, learn from it and keep on going, following my conscience, or give up. Why is so hard to just be who you are?
Last night I talked about the belief that God has given all his grace and blessings to poor and marginalized and we needed to with them to receive them. Proof came today. Our friend Joe who normally goes with us for a Friday Fish Fry came with us last night to serve a meal in a family shelter. Joe also has a real passion for hot peppers and has told me the hottest pepper in the world was something called the ‘ghost paper.’ To make my “Uncle Bob’s Hot Joe’s” spice even hotter I have searched for the ‘ghost pepper.’
Today I went home to Growing Power, the source of my Growing Power home model garden to seek some kale plants. They had some and when looking over other plants for sale saw they had ‘ghost peppers.’ Sometimes what you are looking for is right at home. Joe came over to the house today to fix a broken kitchen faucet. I showed him the ‘ghost peppers’ I had already planted. He warned me how careful I had to be handling them, using gloves and protecting my eyes, since they were so hot. He also mentioned he just heard about a possible hotter pepper, the scorpion pepper but the search for it will need to wait till Joe and I get some more blessings from the homeless at the shelter.
In a recent posting I had mentioned about how once again three of the four basketball rims in the County Park were down again. (Do the Right Thing for African American Males. Today I drove in the park and eight African American males were playing four on four basketball on the one rim left. Two teens were standing around since they had no place to play and one other young African adult male. We started talking about the courts and the hassles created when African American Young Adults starting to use the basketball courts. It turns out he lives nearby at the other end of the park and, as I felt it was just all about discrimination since there were no were problems before the African American young adults started playing basketball at the park. We started to talk about what to do and both agreed that my ‘making noise’ about it really does not work since there is always someone else who can make more noise to the politically powerful person. I asked for his thoughts of what to do. Somewhat surprised but should have been expected he mentioned the only way change would take place if people would protest the racial discrimination and the ‘powers to be’ would be embarrassed and change things. I am sure he was not born before the sixties and remembers the great civil rights movements but that was the tactic that worked at the time and could work now, although it would be harder now since the ‘powers that be” have learned how to not react, control, marginalized and divide the messengers.
His reminded me of Dr. Luther King and his famous Letter from the Birmingham Jail where he outlined such a tactic, calling in nonviolent practices was the only way to make change effectively. I know this but kept thinking that ‘common sense’, research, speaking out and writing would make a difference. I can get everyone in the neighborhood to sign a petition or show in research how crime in the neighborhood is not related to young adult African Americans playing basketball in the park.
On the way out of the park I noticed the woman who lives in the house next to the entrance of park and right behind the remaining backboard and rim cutting her grass. I knew she was the former sister in law of a friend so I stopped and struck up a conversation with her. Her major complaint about the park was not the young adults playing basketball but of the poor upkeep of the park. She pointed to the grass she had just cut along the country park driveway and said unless she cut it, it would not be done. It reminded me of another neighbor’s remark, one with children who lives behind the basketball courts and was opposed when the behavior of players was bad but after last year when all four rims where up had changed his mind. He had told me that his biggest complaint now had been the poor condition of the par three golf course when he took his children there last summer to golf.
It is now quite clear to me that this young man is right, that the way to resurrect the rims is to expose the racial discrimination of those who oppose the use of courts for African American young adults. Direct Nonviolent Action remains the best way to end discrimination.
