Accepting Death

Today a group of us went to visit a friend who is near death. I could hardly recognize my friend, although I had seen him about 6 weeks ago. His face was so changed, but when he spoke his voice was easily recognizable. He was surrounded by family and friends. He spoke of being ready to die and wanting to die but how his body kept on going.

His talking of desiring death reminded me of the words of Father Arrupe S.J., the leader of the Society of Jesus at the election of his successor. Fr. Arrupe had suffered a stroke and was unable to speak. His speech was read to the gathering and he said: “More than ever, I now find myself in the hands of God. This is what I have wanted all my life, from my youth. And this is still the one thing I want. But now there is a difference: the initiative is entirely with God. It is indeed a profound spiritual experience to know and feel myself so totally in His hands.”

I told this story of Father Arrupe to my weak friend and he was comforted. Fr. Arrupe’s words are a reminder to all of us that our life is not in our hands but the hands of God.

Facing death has always been one of my fears. Watching friends face death, like I just did with another friend and this one, has given me a perspective on life that one can only see when facing death. All the small things in life do not seem to matter when one faces death. It is an emptying out experience of self except what is essential, family and friends.

Bless my two friends for sharing their dying experience with us. One has died and one is ready. Out of their death comes new life, so they live on in all of us blessed to know them.

Blessed are the dying for in their helplessness and weakness new strength and life is born.

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