Nancy

This last week I have been writing a lot about death. Just today I posted a note on the death of Patrick Flood on the Friends of Milwaukee 14 Today web page. I have written in this posting about a farewell to a friend facing death, Jim Harney, a member of the Milwaukee 14. Also, the winter cold reminds me of death in nature. However, in nature there is a resurrection next spring, but with friends there is resurrection on the last day.

But nothing prepared me for the phone call I received this evening from my brother in Iowa. His wife of 39 years, Nancy, mother of their four children, had died in a car accident this afternoon. Nancy was more than a sister-in law to my wife Pat and me. She was like a sister. We traveled with my brother and Nancy to Hawaii, Florida and many places. She was our friend and companion. My brother’s voice on the phone was unrecognizable. He, like us, cannot fathom this death.

Nancy was a very active mother, a person of faith, wife, and had a kind soul. When her children grew up she went back to school earning a degree and pursuing a career she had left behind when she married my brother. In fact she was coming back from a class in Lacrosse to Iowa City when the accident happened.

My first memory of Nancy was from the visiting room of the maximum-security prison that I was sentenced to for the Milwaukee 14 action. My brother and Nancy had just gotten married, and with my wife and mother had come to visit me and introduce me to her. At that first meeting I could tell she was a good person. She was not a judgmental person, and treated me with same respect and dignity as if we were meeting in a distinguish hotel lobby rather than the prison visitor center.

Our two sons were close in age to their first two sons and our families spent many a good time together. Later, when they had another son and a daughter, we were drawn even closer together. My wife and I were godparents to their daughter and remain close to all four children.

Whenever I hear of a death, be it in Iraq or the streets of Milwaukee, I feel great and overwhelming sorrow. I try not to immune myself to death and suffering but need to in order to keep on going in life. My faith in life after death, although it is not so obvious with humans as with nature, keeps me going.

In death, even the senseless accidental death of a loved one, as with Nancy, we must find new life. What else can we do? Pray for Nancy, my brother and their family. Nancy, pray for us you left behind. Now that you have seen the face of God help us to see God in all things everyday. We love you and cry for you. I know your life lives on where there is only life and love. For us this death comes home.

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